


There's Comfort In A Bed (But It Isn't Sleep)

by ellerae



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 00:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5948230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellerae/pseuds/ellerae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode 41 Spoilers. I know nothing. Blame tumblr user druidprincesskeyleth for dragging me into this hell. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's Comfort In A Bed (But It Isn't Sleep)

When Vax finally makes his way back to his room at the Keep he knows exactly what he’s looking for in his bed: comfort, rest, and the strength to face the horrors that have overtaken Emon. And when he finally opens to door and sees Gilmore lying asleep on the mattress he thanks the stars that for once he got precisely what he needed.

The smoking ruins of the town had stunk heavily of death and burning and Vax didn’t want to bring that to the bed. He shed his cloak, his weaponry and his shirt and headed over to the bucket of clean water in the corner of the room. Thankfully with the rain falling heavy there had been enough drinkable water to go around and enough to bathe in as well. After slowly drawing the water across his aching torso he dried himself off and pulled the tie from his hair.

Vax dragged a weary palm across his face and turned back to the bed where Gilmore still lay asleep. The slash to his gut seemed to have made him slighter, as if the loss of blood and gore had hollowed his friendly curves into gaunt lines. Between that and the loss of his fine, richly sewn robes, he looked like a different man. One less inclined to flirt outrageously and more likely to fight off a dragon at whatever cost to protect what he could.

Lying gently on the bed, Vax curled up to face Gilmore. His dark face was ashy and sallow but he was _alive._ Vax flashed back for a moment to the second he saw Gilmore’s crumpled form in the bunker under the shop. Unbidden, tears formed as he stared resolutely at Gilmore, reminding himself that he was here and safe for now. He reached out and placed a shaking hand against Gilmore’s cheek and allowed his fingers to slide down to his neck where the slow pulse beat steady and strong.

Gilmore’s eyes flickered open and he smiled indistinctly at Vax. He placed his hand over Vax’s and offered a quiet hushing noise. It was then that Vax realised he was crying in earnest, sobs rocking the bed enough that it must have woken Gilmore.

“I thought you were dead.” Vax explained in a whisper. “I thought you were gone completely and that I might never see you smile at me again.”

Gilmore looked down and for half a second his smile faltered with hurt.

“I know it isn’t fair.” Vax continued. “I’m sorry, I cannot excuse myself. I know it’s selfish and wrong to turn you away and then say that but I couldn’t bear to lose you any more than-“ He broke off. “I’m sorry.” He whispered again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Vax brought his hand back and curled into himself, ashamed.

“Vax’ildan.” Gilmore hesitated. “Dear heart.” Vax froze, still crying. “How many times must I tell you you have nothing to apologise for.” Gilmore reached out and slid his hand up Vax’s forearm and around his wrist to entwine their fingers. “Do you think for a second that I stopped loving you merely because you said you could not act on it? I know just as well as any that the heart works not for what we wish it, but for what it wishes us to be. That you care at all is a gift, that you care enough to spare me anything that may resemble a lie or infidelity shows what kind of heart you have. It is to be admired.”

Vax squeezed Gilmore’s fingers tightly and drew one deep, controlled breath. _I love you,_ he thought. _I love you and I can only be sure when lives are on the line. Neither you nor Keyleth deserve this: a man who must dance away from the truth until the surety results in too much to begin on._ He slowly lifted his face to look at Gilmore again. The wounded, waxen lines of his face still managed to curve into Gilmore’s signature whipcrack grin.

Vax was overtaken with emotion that filled his chest and stopped his throat. He leaned forwards until his face was less than an inch from Gilmore’s, their noses almost brushing. A breath passed, two, three. Gilmore stayed still, waiting to follow Vax’s cue. Finally, Vax shifted just that tiniest bit further and pressed their mouths together. His lips were slicked with tears and he was still shaking, but Gilmore leaned into the kiss with a sure confidence that emboldened him.

They moved in tenuous tandem, shifting slowly closer to one another so that when the kiss finally broke they were pressed together at every curve and line. Gilmore squeezed the hand he was still holding and quirked a smile. Vax, swallowing the last of his tears, returned it. Gradually they fell asleep in the dark of early morning. Breathing in unison and, for a few short hours, completely at peace.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Harsh Light of Day (And What Comes After)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5948350) by [newlifemoriarty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/newlifemoriarty/pseuds/newlifemoriarty)




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